Yesterday, one of my friends (who is a newspaper reporter) shared a post from the Ellsworth Police Department’s wall:
So… this killed me. I posted on my friend’s share, and then shared it myself with the note “You wish you lived in Maine.” I said that it had all the elements of the perfect Maine story — shellfish, evergreen wreaths, the UMaine system, science, and two unattended and unlocked cars. It got shared by others, and a reporter for the area wrote it up in the BDN:” Southwest Harbor man seeking scallop guts after putting them in the wrong car.” (Which is where I learned it wasn’t two cars nearby, but just a mixup, but still.) Another friend noted that the 7 digit phone number added to the perfect Maine-ness, which, I had totally missed the first time. Not to mention putting your home phone number on the PD’s Facebook wall! Mainers. We are trusting folks.
It’s just the perfect Maine police beat story. In so many ways. And this morning, it was made even more perfect, when I woke to a facebook message from my graduate school advisor. “I was driving that car with the scallop guts in it. I’ll call when it gets to be a reasonable time.”
I thought she was kidding. She drives a Subaru — I KNOW this! but when I replied with “You are kidding, right?! Because if you aren’t, this puts this story right over the top for me as Perfect Maine Story!!” she responded: “no… not kidding…. I posted earlier on the Ellsworth Police FB…. MAN! I was puzzled! I could NOT figure out how I missed them all the times I got in and out of the car on Monday!”
Since this conversation was taking place before 7 am, the scallop guy hasn’t been reached yet. But I have the details from her side of the story:
“When I got back to campus Monday night, I left a note for [redacted] saying, “what’s with those buckets in the backseat?” She was all for calling the motor pool and having them dumped. I said wait until I contact the school I was visiting to see if someone from there put them in the car. I did call the school but no one returned my call – luckily I saw your post this morning (and [the newspaper reporter's])…. I left the original poster a message on FB but I’ll call at 7:30.”
And there you have it. Social media solved the case of the missing mollusks. I had forgotten the key element of the perfect Maine story before — “you are one degree from the subject.” And now, there is no more awesome Maine story I could be a part of.
Edited to add a link to the followup story on the BDN: Lost scallop guts found in car of UM associate professor (the other FB friend of hers was the original reporter I mentioned!)
Edited a second time to add the blog post of the grad student whose scallop gonads were lost. I love the internet. Found: My lost ‘nads.
Edited for a third time to add the link to the Colbert Report!