gretchen says

Ingrid, in the car:

“Mom, I know the tooth fairy isn’t real.”
“She isn’t?”
“No, because FAIRIES aren’t real, so the TOOTH FAIRY can’t be real.”
“Oh. Huh. Who brought you the money when you lost those teeth then?”
“I think it was a lady who knows magic that makes her fly.”

Ingrid, after I’ve handed her the wrapper from a sleeve of Willa’s diapers to go throw out.
[Reading stock plastic bag safety warning to self] “Keep away from babies and children… MOM, why did you GIVE this to me? It says KEEP AWAY FROM KIDS, and I AM A KID!”

Willa, after her (first! sob) haircut:
“I big! I like sissy!”
“And you are so beautiful!”
“I bootiful! Like Mama!”